My Art History

Only recently, did I embrace the identity “artist”. Even during the last few years when I was drawing and painting as a hobby, I didn’t really consider myself as one.

People have told me all my life that I was creative. I usually discounted any artistic creativity they may have been referring to. Instead I discounted their comments as referring to my intellectual ability: “they must mean clever”.

Before the Paint and Sip that turned on the light inside me, I can only think of three paintings I created my life. I don’t have photos of any of them. It was thinking about those paintings recently, as I prepared to write about them, that I realized I’ve always been artistic.

And that realization led to a big shift and some healing for me.

See, I don’t like parting with my artwork (a challenge for someone who eventually wants to make a living as an artist). Until now (and literally right now as I make the commitment to myself to just stop it), I would tell anyone who asked if my artwork was for sale that I’d repaint it for them. And I did. I’ve repainted several pieces that I didn’t want to part with even though someone else wanted to buy them.

To discover the cause of my shift, let’s take a trip down memory lane and talk about some of my earlier artistic pursuits. I wish I had photos or the actualy items to show you. I’ve downsized so many times over the years and my early artworks (that I never considered art) are long gone.

I think it was Albert Einstein that said “ I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious.”

And that was me, growing up (and still today). I wanted to do and try anything and everything. As a child I’m sure I had coloring books galore. There were also lanyards, pipe cleaner crafts and countless other things we created together with the boy scout troop my dad led. My dad liked leather work and I helped him stamp and paint some belts and purses.

But it was my mom that was really responsible for encouraging creativity in me. I didn’t consider this until now, but she was my first art teacher. Together we created loads of art:

Shrinkydinks and friendship bracelets. Some bead things that you ironed to melt together to form images. Latchhook rugs and these woven potholder thingies (yes, that’s the best description I can muster). She was always buying craft projects to keep me busy.

I also have a collection of Christmas ornaments that I made over a few years with my mom. We sewed cloth ones, painted ceramic ones, crafted wreaths and candy canes made of beads, and some decoupage ones (which I think my mom did all on her own, but I may have “helped”).

She ran a small catering business, so I learned to cook and bake and now believe I can whip up anything I want to (whether that’s true or not). We even made our own Easter candy a couple of years. They were the best coconut cream eggs I’ve ever had. So I guess she’s responsible for my entrepreneurship leanings as well.

The things mom taught my siblings trickled down to me as well.

My sister Eileen loved crochet, and together we made potholders and I “helped” her make some Barbie clothes for me.

Around 5th grade I started playing instruments. First I wanted to be like my big sister Roberta. I’d watch her play the piano and I’d sing along, eventually picking out the pieces on my own. I remember my mother’s reaction when I took a marker and wrote the note letters on each of her piano keys.

In high school we got free music lessons if we joined the band, so I picked up the saxophone and flute. In college I learned the clarinet but was awful at it. And after law school I picked up the ukulele. Despite all of this, I don’t play any of them now, and don’t consider myself a musician… although I do own a harmonica that I’d determined to learn “someday”.

My artistic pursuits grew when I met my first best friend Marilena. We went to ceramics class, which wasn’t really a class but a place we could go and paint ceramic statues and dishes. I wish I had one of the dolls I remember making but completely forgot about until typing this sentence. It was a victorian style woman who I had painted with a purple sparkly dress (did you expect anything else from me?).

With her and our other friend Megan I performed for the first time, playing Bette Midler's "The Rose" on the piano while Marilena sang and Megan danced. We were in 8th grade.

Me, Megan and Marilena

My senior year of high school I felt like singing and acting. So I prepped a version of “The Goat Herd Song” from the sound of music for my audition and landed a small role in Hello, Dolly! I dropped theater for mock trial in college, and my singing has never stopped, although I don’t do it in an organized anymore.

In high school and early college I remember making lots of needlepoint and embroidery work. I made countless pillow case covers, table runners, tea towels, and one very special baby blanket. I made my own clothes, and my mom was right there by my side, teaching me how to sew hems and make button holes.

And I started creative writing poems and short stories, and even had a few pieces published in the school literary magazine. Seems like I did that even earlier, because I found this in a box of keepsakes my family sent to me a few years ago.

All creative writing stopped when I hit college and started to have to write a LOT for school.

By the time I got to college, I had an “i can make that” attitude. I got into yoga and meditation, so I made my own mala beads I still have and use today.

I made a load of hair clips and fascinators and jewelry. Ceramic trivets out of old dishes. I tried my hand a faux finish room painting. I painted a tree mural on my bedroom wall.

Recently, I decoupaged a glass vase with Van Gogh washi tape.

Oh wait… I forgot dancing! Imagine my friend’s surprise when I suddenly danced a perfect polka at his uncle’s wedding. And I can waltz, foxtrot and rhumba, for what it’s worth, although I haven’t had the chance to in quite some time. I even took hula lessons from my ukulele teacher!

Let’s see… does assembling Ikea furniture count? probably not. But how about designing and constructing a Murphy desk for my Chicago condo?

I also laid ceramic tile, glass blocks, and remodeled the kitchen myself.

I arranged my own flowers for my wedding, and earned calligraphy to do the invitations and learned wood carving and burning to create my bridesmaid gifts. I made them music boxes.

Which brings me back to this idea of letting go of my art. Seems like I’ve always done that, mostly joyfully… because I’ve made things with others in mind from the start.

When I began painting it was somehow different. I picked tutorials to try because I wanted the image hanging in my home. I painted things because I thought they were beautiful, and recreating them in paint helps me appreciate their beauty.

Now, on the eve of becoming a professional artist… I still paint for me. But there’s a shift happening. I am painting for me and what i want to paint… but I no longer feel the tug to keep my creations close. Like all of the art that came from my hands over the last 50 years, I am ready to release it freely and with love, so it can spread light wherever it reaches.

And my latest form of art? Writing stories about my past and my artwork. Well that’s for you, I guess. I hope you’re enjoying it.